Friday, 10 April 2009

How to Make Your Marriage Work


I suppose having been married I can call myself an expert on what makes a marriage work. Too many divorces, marriages that are living hell and the ones that suffer the most are the children. It is up to the married couple to make sure their marriage remain happy not just for themselves, but for the new generations they bring up in this difficult world.

With my 28 year of experience being married I know what makes it work so I have given 6 tips which will certainly go a long way into helping a marriage last forever.

Everyone gets angry and when you are angry the worst thing that can happen is to argue with someone else who is also angry. If you see your partner angry don't be and vice versa. One of you have to act as the calming element, it works both ways.

Throughout a marriage there will be differences of opinion. When you disagree with what your partner is saying or doing it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, talking and more important giving time to listen to each other is important. If you still both disagree then agree to disagree calmly.

The worse thing a partner can do, apart from having an affair is to keep bring up things you have done wrong in the past. Dwelling on these really will grind a partner down. If there needs to be a reminder of bad things or mistakes in the past then just make a fleeting reference to it and use is as a positive experience and learning curve taken on board for a brighter future.

You married your partner for a reason and that reason is love. you know what you love about your partner so once a day make a point of telling them why you love them. This will go a long way to reminding each other why you are together. Sometime over a period this is forgotten so if you make a habit of saying it really will sink in again.

Give each other space. you are married and should be sp[ending the rest of your lives together, don't crowd your partner 24/7. Everyone needs a little time and space away from each other no matter what anyone says. Even if it is a weekend apart it will keep your wanting each other very much alive.

The last tips is to be yourself and individual, don't try to be anything else. This may sound strange, but some marriages don't find out the real person they have married until the acting becomes too tiring and the marriage breaks down as that person changes.

Look at your marriage right now and see whether any of these tips are being used. If you are relatively newly married then you probably won't need to follow some of them. Over a longer duration they should all be used as an aid and support a much happier relationship.

Image by Tosawyer via Flickr

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